2005-07-19 - 8:51 a.m.

I�m back�

I had a kind of fun, not too busy weekend. Friday was dinner w/ Mart and MC in Kenosha, lots of laughs. It�s nice to have friends for almost 25 years that you can just pick up and yip yap with about nothing and everything.

Saturday, I went to a candle party that I was none too jazzed about but ended up having a good time, then off to Sausage Fest aka Jeff�s party. That was pretty fun although besides the group of 8 or so Fockers who was there, we didn�t know anyone else.

Sunday, Jon and I went camping. As he was a little slow moving, from his golf outing on Saturday, we got a late start, but we got the tent up, made dinner and only burnt the baked potatoes to the texture of hockey pucks and it was a nice time. We have had a rough few weeks and I have been pretty upset about it. I finally told him that if he doesn�t start treating me like a girlfriend, I am going to end things. I think he got the point�.he gave me a card the other day, called this morning to say he was thiking about me, etc. I have been kind of cocky about the whole thing, and I was like you are shaping up or I am going to find someone who wants to be with a nice person and treat me like I deserve. Now don�t get me wrong�.he has never been mean to me or called me names or yelled at me or patronized me or anything like that. I just told him he needs to start telling me how he is feeling and talking about stuff that matters and showing me that he loves me�the telling part only goes so far. I know his relationship with the soon-to-be-ex was very, very bad�like roommates but worse, so I told him that doesn�t fly with me.

The beauty of it�I think he really gets it and I meant it when I said I was willing to walk away. I think about 99% of women threaten all this crap but don�t follow through and guys realize this and know that the women are so freaking dependant on them, short of screwing someone else in front of them, they won�t leave. I on the other hand, know that I can do things on my own and although this hasn�t always been the case, I have the self-confidence now to remain on my own, thank you Chuck Woolery.

I have a friend who is very, very needy. As one of my other friends says, she is enough to suck the lifeblood out of you and it�s true. I am about at the end of my little giving tree. This is someone who I know would be there for me if I needed something but ALWAYS has a crisis. Anyway, I think she�s irritated with me because I wouldn�t pick her up for the candle party on Saturday. Yes, she�s on crutches but damn it, so was I for about 2 months and I got around fine and dandy. Besides, she was already out and about that day, at work, and the party was on her way home, so what�s the big deal? I need a little Jessie space and have spent much time both in person, and on the phone in the last few weeks. I normally don�t even bring up what�s going on with me, nor is there much interest in discussing these things. This is the same one that is dating super-loser white trash boy�the guy who told her he would be working on his car engine all summer and wouldn�t have time for her, the same one who did the nasty in a bar with her and 10 minutes later picked a fight and left her there�very classy (I was a witness to that one). He�s a huge loser and a cheater and a liar and I can�t be much more supportive on this one�she knows he is a dick who treats her like shit yet isn�t quite ready to let go�Does that make me a bad friend for wanting a little space??

Ok back to work�have a great Tuesday. I love 4 day weeks!
Jess

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