2004-04-29 - 10:14 a.m.

It Takes Two to Tanga�

Quick update: Date last night with Tall Steve was a success, it�s the best date I have had in a long time. He is kind of a sarcastic smarta$$ as well. My experience has been that two people with that same personality get along fantastically or the complete opposite. He was very funny, we had a lot to talk about and I think from the vibes I was picking up I think that we will go out again. (oh yeah and he did come out and say �the next time we go out� a couple times-nice detective work Captain Obvious). He is a little older than the average date, like 13 years older but I don�t think it�s that big of a deal. I told Spice (that�s my mom) his age and she said �that�s dad�s age.� Now I am not a math whiz but I did get A�s in my undergrad and graduate Stats and Quantitative Analysis classes� I don�t think that my dad had me when I was 13. If so, there is a lot that I don�t know about my family�.

I am a hypocrite. I admit it, which I understand to be the first step. I went back to Victoria�s Secret. With my free panty coupon in hand The coupon expired on Monday and I had to run to the mall for something else, so I hopped back to VS to get my free panty. Did you know that you can get $5 off any Angel bra also? Smart me would have just said no thanks. Instead, I swatted at the hornets nest--I smiled nicely and said yes, but your bras don�t fit me. What size do you wear? (this makes me laugh when people ask me because I think I am very skilled at boob camouflaging). I told her and she said oh we make that size and I said yes but while they are very cute, your bras don�t support that size for diddly squat (well ok that�s not exactly what I said but you get the gist). She feigned surprise��they don�t? We have several bras that come in that size� with all the inquisitiveness and salespersonship that a size 34 barely B can muster up. Then I told her that I had been a Victoria�s Secret employee for 3 years and during my tour of Victoria�s duty, I tried several different models and ended up returning them all-because the underwire popped out after a few wearings.

Which reminds of me of all the freakos that used to come into Victoria�s Secret. First off, I worked about 2 days a month. And I got put on the bathroom cleaning rotation schedule twice a month. Huh? I use your toilet maybe 2 times a month and I have to clean it? For $8.50 an hour? Don�t think so. Maybe the full time employees who use it about 40-50 times a month can clean it or pay someone else to do it, not me. My friend Windy is so, so nice-- she knew that I wouldn�t do it so she just always did my bathroom cleaning stint for me without asking me to do it.

Anyway, Victoria�s Secret customers can be very icky. First of all, the dressing rooms at Southridge are really big with full size doors that close, and you can�t see over the top or under the bottom because they are like big closets. For some reason, high school students used to like to see if they could get it on in them. ICK. People also used to leave icky things behind in them. The grossest one I personally had to clean up was sooo nasty. Someone decided to trade up into a new pair of panties. And leave their old ones behind in the dressing room. That itself is gross but the ones they left behind were so sick-apparently, their monthly bill had come. That�s about as close as I have ever come to puking at work.

We used to get prank phone calls, asked to model different items, men would come in shopping for themselves (yes, VS bras and panties on men-cute)�.you name it, I�ve seen it. And I didn�t even WORK in the lingerie part, I worked in fragrance.

This is much longer than I thought but back to the original-I got the tanga. That was the only choice in my advanced size. And I am wearing it as we speak. It matched my bra and I needed low-rise so I thought I would try it. From the front, it is ok. From the back-exactly what I thought-it is about 3� wide (not 2� as originally stated) so my booty hangs out the bottom and top. Not exactly flattering but not like anyone is going to see them so it�s ok. And they are comfortable. Even for the bootlylishous and hipperific gal. Drat. I hate being wrong BUT I am willing to admit that I am wrong--I�ve come a long way, baby.

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