2005-11-30 - 8:24 p.m.

Here she is�

I have been MIA for a while I guess by choice�I have a lot of conflicting thoughts running through my head so I have just been avoiding the whole blog thing.

Thanksgiving came and went. Wednesday I met Steve and Brenda out for happy hour then a little while later the gang came out as a surprise for Jojo�s birthday. It was a LOT of fun, a lot of giggles, a lot of beer and very little to eat. Cathy and Andy and Jamie and Kevin were out at the Gee so we met up with them and HHB came out too. He seemed pretty crabby and tired, I was pretty tipsy, he dropped me back at Champp�s, I promptly hopped in my truck and drove to Calhoun Station and hung out with Jon. Not sure what is going on with HHB but pretty sure it�s friends only, if that.

Thanksgiving was pretty low key�went over to the Mac�s for dinner and in bed by 10:30. Friday and Saturday during the day I worked at the mall for some real excitement and it was sllloowwww. Friday night, I met Jon for some wings and beers. I am not sure what is going to happen with him and I but I can�t seem to get over him and vice versa. It�s been 3 � months. I have gone out with HHB 4 or 5 times in the last few weeks, and I do like him and do find him attractive but I still love Jon. It�s killing me�.

Sunday I watched the Packers lose, Monday I worked late and Tuesday � Friday, I am in Rhode Island and Boston. It�s been pretty nice out here, at least temperature wise. It�s 60 but really rainy. I was in Newport, RI last night and today�which is the cutest little New England town. I would have loved to be there with someone that I can walk around and hold hands with and giggle and eat clam chowder and look at crap we would never buy (or afford) in all the little shops. Sigh�.

HHB emailed me that he wants to go for drinks on Friday when I get back. I don�t know how I feel about that. I would like to go but I doesn�t feel right about it because of my feelings for and about Jon. We�ll see if I hear from him again� I think Jon would be happy for me if I would go out and just find someone to fall in love with and have a family with. I don�t see that happening in the near future, nor do I think I want it to.

Anyhew, I am looking forward to this weekend. I want to go to Windy�s son�s fundraiser for his baseball team, it�s a Packer party. Jon had said he would go with me but now I think he is having second thoughts which I am bummed about. I am working at the mall Saturday�

Have a good rest �o the week-
Jess

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