2004-06-22 - 9:38 a.m.

Stick a fork in me

because I am DONE

No more teachers, no more books (not like I read most of �em anyway), you know the rest of it. I am so damn excited to be done with school, I can�t even tell ya. We went out for a class drinkie last night and I thought a couple of old fashioneds would be delicious. Bad idea. Because then when I switched to beer and a couple of celebratory jaegerbombs, I got falling down drunk. How do I know that? Because I fell down. On my head. I know that comes as a surprise to most of you that I would do something like that (it's not funny Mark. Ok, it actually is).

How does one with so much grace and poise accomplish that, you ask? Well, when you are leaning into the bushes in front of your house which are about 2� off the ground, next to a nice little 2� retaining wall and you lose your balance and topple into a bush, bounce off of that and then smack your head and shoulder, catching yourself with your hand onto the street. All this while Ann watches from the car. Why would you be leaning into a bush? Because you are going to blow chow. Yes, for the first time in about 5 years, I barfed.

Last time I barfed, it was my mom�s fault. I had never had an old fashioned before and it was our bowling league Christmas party. Spice had been drinking them and I thought I should try it and it was damn good. So after about 8 beers, I switched to old fashioneds. Bad idea, no one told me that they are doubles and I slugged back about 6 of �em. I have never been so hungover in my entire life (well maybe after my 22nd birthday when it was Black Sambuca night at Vitucci�s and I barfed outside the bar and they wouldn�t let me back in. Then my friends took me home, let me pass out in the car and went to another bar while I slept it off. I was walking into my room with a little help from MC and some dingdong in my family had left the linen closet door open which was right next to my bedroom door. Of course I totally smashed my head into it. Anyway, on bowling night, I hadbarfed all over my car (passenger side, FSU was driving), in my car, on my shoes, on my garage. FYI, old fashioneds come up pink. Very feminine looking.

So today I surveyed the damage and it is also pink. Plus the bush is smashed to smithereens. Good thing I rent. I�m sure that Jeff, icky apartment manager, will appreciate seeing that since it is right across from his office. Whoopsie.

Ann bought me a lovely gift of a dice cup and shot glasses, perfect for every MBA graduate and Kathie brought me some flowers. What nice girls. Plus Greg and Michelle had bought me a lovely Waterford clock. I�ll regale you with the story of how I acquired the rest of my Waterford stuff another day. It�s a good one.

I ran into Schubbe last night. If you remember correctly, he was out a couple weeks ago with Major Trouble and I at the Double Gee. Schubbe�s soon-to-be-ex-wife�s co-workers apparently walked into the Double Gee, saw me sitting there with them and �felt uncomfortable� and had to leave. Then I guess they told his soon-to-be-ex that he had a girlfriend, meaning me, which is very funny because I wasn�t even sitting next to him. He�s just lucky that his real girlfriend wasn�t there at the time because they were quite evidently together. I guess I am quite the intimidator, even from 2 barstools away. What a couple of dingbats. OH, and Major Trouble never called me about lunch this week. What a jag.

I am on my clear liquid diet today in prepeperation for my big colonoscopy tomorrow. Wow, exciting stuff. Don�t call me tonight-apparently once I slug back my yummy phospho-soda, I will be a busy girl. I know, I do live quite the exciting life and have fresh 6 pack waiting to go. And not of beer, it�s Cottonelle. Blech.

Have a good one, I�ll be back from the big procedure on Thursday.

Jess

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