2004-06-09 - 9:24 a.m.

Time Out�

Did you ever sit back and think how much of life is all due to timing? I mean, do you know people who met by total coincidence and if they both weren�t at some bar or some party or in line at Starbucks or something at the same exact time, they would have never probably met? I met FSU (Former Spousal Unit) in a bar, for a couple of reasons. 1. MC, Liesl and I stopped to see if this guy that MC had dated in high school was there (he wasn�t) and 2. FSU had been stood up by another girl. Well, perhaps since he is my FORMER spouse, that didn�t work out so well but you get the idea.

I think that a lot in life, dating or otherwise, has to do with timing. I have met different men in my life and I had thought if we would have met 10 years or 5 years or even a year ago or before they met the person they are with now, it would have been a really cool thing. Probably not, because they wouldn�t be the same people they are today if that had happened and neither would I. But it�s interesting to think about. Another friend of mine has a theory that there isn�t just one person that is right for you in life, there are different people who meet your needs at different times. And a lot of times, friends are like that, they come and go, so maybe it�s really the same with relationships.

I think that is very interesting. For example, I was in love with HSBF (High School Boyfriend), we got along great and had a lot of fun. However, I could pretty much assure you that due to long term goals and other things like I don�t know--maybe him smoking pot everyday-- we would not be a good match today. Also, I think that those that knew HSBF would probably have killed me by now if we were still together. Same thing with Schlep. I think if we had started dating at some other point before he decided he needed to sow his wild oats, maybe it would have turned out differently. And I was pretty sure when he decided that was what he needed to do, that he was going to be sorry, which at some point he may or may not be, who knows, but that chapter is closed anyway. And I think most of my friends and my family would be ready to commit me if I dated him again. Same goes for Major Trouble--I have rarely met someone that I can totally be myself with and that makes me laugh that much and that I just like hanging out with but that is also a chapter that needs to be shut permanently yet every once in awhile, it opens up to the same damn page. Amy and I were talking about it before�I think I like the challenging ones because they are just more interesting people and I have more fun with them although they always end up with me feeling like crap. Just because you have a connection with someone, doesn�t mean that you should be together.

Wow, I am philosophical today�frightening indeed.

We have this little wind-up sperms (yes, you didn�t misread this-they are wind-up sperms with little tails and everything) that one of our vendors sent us for a promotion for these DNA kits we sell. Yesterday, Amy told me I should take a sperm, it would make me feel better. That is damn funny in more ways than one. I think that a lot of people would feel better if they took a sperm.

I went out for a bit last night, nothing too exciting, just Leff�s Tuesday night. Schlep was trying to get my goat and I am proud to say that I did not take the bait. Sometimes, I really do feel like a grown-up.

Have a good Wednesday!

Jess

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